August 2, 2009

The date of the SheROX Philadelphia Sprint Triathlon.

I'm doing it. It's happening. And I might have some other pretty amazing women doing it with me. Stay tuned.

Alexis

As I mentioned in my last post, it's been a rough patch. Things in my own life have evened out and have taken a turn for the better, but my cousin and very dear friend has been sick for three years, and things have recently gotten worse. So that's where all my emotional energy has gone, to sending love and positive thoughts to Alexis, her parents, and her brothers, as well as everyone else who knows and loves her dearly. I wouldn't usually post about someone's health other than my own, but Lexi is so important to me, I can't help but think that if even more people send love and healing thoughts to her and her family, they'll be able to feel it.

I do plan to start posting again more regularly. I have lots of great new information I'm eager to share, but sometimes life intervenes, and, well, blogging isn't exactly a top priority.

Tough Week

Rationally, I know how good my life is. I know how kiss-the-earth lucky I am. That doesn't mean that some weeks it feels like the universe is just unloading on me. On Sunday night I took quite a spill on my bike. I'll spare you pictures of my bruises (about seven covering knees-to-ankles on both legs), but my camera did happen to fall out of my bag and take a picture of the bike:

I'll take this chance to make the requisite wear your helmet plug. Fortunately I didn't get too badly hurt, but my legs were banged up enough to make yoga nearly impossible for the past week.

On Tuesday I got some pretty bummer news that I didn't see coming. Is it for the best? Yeah, it is. Doesn't mean it's fun though.

Then, on Thursday, as I'm stressed and scrambling to meet a deadline for an enormous project, I get sick at work and have to go home early. I spend the next forty-eight hours in bed (ok, ok, with a great book and stack of Woody Allen movies, but still), and miss a conference in D.C. that I had been looking forward to, despite any moaning and groaning on my part. To make my deadline on time, I had to go to the office on Sunday to do some more data mining.

All things considered, things could be much worse, I know. Everything I got dealt is temporary: bruises fade, emotions bounce back, the flu passes. But it still sucks. My inclination is to put on a happy face, say everything's fine, fake it 'til you make it. I think in many instances, that works. Then I remember an assignment I got from Eva, my wonderful acupuncturist.

She said I have to -- brace yourselves -- start feeling my feelings.

She's right, of course. The only thing is, feelings can be so stinking inconvenient. And if you feel your feelings, doesn't that mean you're more likely to show you're feelings? And if you do show your feelings, that just makes you plum vulnerable. Scary stuff.

I'm working on it, though. It's a fun project when you feel overjoyed or peaceful or goofy. A little (lot) less so when you feel so angry you wish you still had a punching bag, or so sad you just want to lie in puddle on your kitchen floor. I'm trying to compromise. I'm trying to, well, speed feel. It takes about three minutes, and goes like this... Acknowledge I feel angry. Throw things (that won't break) and listen to loud, angry music. Cut myself off after a minute before it spirals. Do something productive.

It's a start. Besides, the productive stuff is where I want to be spending my energy. I don't want all the other crap "to win"; I want it to propel me to be better. I'd rather think about paintings I've wanted to make but been too scared to try because what if *gasp* it sucks. I'd rather take out my guitar that I have touched in five years because I've never been any good, and finally learn how to play my favorite songs. I'd rather catch up on letters and phone calls with old friends. I'd rather find new recipes to cook and foster friendships with people to cook for.

So yeah, it's been a really tough week. I'm still under the weather, and I still have some major, stressful deadlines looming at work. But I also helped the women's group I volunteer with to have a successful first event. I went out to dinner and had a wonderful time with a dozen hilarious Europeans. I had a glass of wine with friends I haven't seen in weeks, and then paid a visit to another friend I've only recently gotten to really know. I caught up with one of my favorite girlfriends from college, and then got into an engaging debate about politics with other friends of ours we happened to bump into as we left the bar. I got a fierce new haircut (if I may say so myself) and some killer new boots. I scoured my apartment, watched movies that remind me of one of my favorite people in the world, and have worked my fingertips almost raw on my guitar. Things will ebb and flow, and I have some amazing people by my side as the tides change. If I have to feel my feelings, after all, they'd better be the good ones. Right?

Acupuncture and Breast Cancer

The New York Times ran an article yesterday promoting the benefits of acupuncture as a means of relief for breast cancer patients. I'm always a little amused when these methods of healing with centuries and millennia of history are billed as "unconventional," but at least it's getting press. The full text is below; I'd be interested to know your thoughts.
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Treatments for breast cancer can lead to unpleasant side effects for most women, including hot flashes, sweating and lack of energy. Now, new research suggests relief can come from an unconventional therapy — acupuncture.

Research from the Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit, presented this week at the American Society for Therapeutic Radiology and Oncology’s annual meeting in Boston, studied acupuncture use among 47 women who were receiving anti-estrogen treatments, including tamoxifen or anastrozole (Arimidex). The drugs are known to lower the risk of breast cancer recurrence, but they can trigger menopause-like symptoms, including hot flashes and night sweats. Half the women were given the antidepressant Effexor, which has been shown to reduce hot flashes in breast cancer patients. The other half received acupuncture therapy once or twice a week during the 12-week study.

The acupuncture worked just as well as the antidepressant Effexor to curb hot flashes. Women who received acupuncture also reported fewer side effects and more energy, and some reported an increased sex drive, compared to women who used Effexor, the study showed.

Dr. Eleanor M. Walker, director of breast radiation oncology at the Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit, said that while she expected to see some benefits from acupuncture, the results were surprising.

“I was surprised by the duration of the effect,” Dr. Walker said. “I didn’t realize it would last so long or result in an increase in sex drive and energy. That was a surprise.”

Last year, a report in The Journal of Clinical Oncology suggested a benefit of acupuncture compared to a “sham” acupuncture treatment, but the results didn’t reach statistical significance.

Because the most recent study lasted only three months, it’s not clear how long the benefit of acupuncture lasts. The study authors said that more research is needed to find out if regular “booster” sessions after the initial treatment period will continue to relieve a woman’s symptoms.

Wiped Out

It's true, I've been a lousy poster as of late. My post-a-day goal when I started has dwindled to a post-a-week during September. It's not that I haven't been thinking about holistic health, or come up with things I've wanted to share. It's just that I've been absurdly exhausted lately. In bed at 8:30 on a Friday night kind of exhausted. In fact, in the last two weeks, I think I've been asleep before 10pm a record-breaking (for me) four times. I've canceled plans, postponed visits, delayed obligations. I'm not quite sure why I've been so beat, but I do know I had to just give into it and let it win. Maybe my body's been fending off these colds that have been going around, or maybe I've just had trouble adjusting to the change of seasons. Maybe it's work stress, or maybe it's frustration over a lot of little things. In the end, I suppose it's ok that I don't know why I'm so tired, just that I honor the exhaustion and give myself a free pass every once in a while.

That said, I'm an optimist, and there's something about today that makes me think I'm starting to turn the corner. I made myself a delicious raw vegan smoothie packed with all sorts of healthy things, like my magic enzyme powder and flax seeds and mango. I have acupuncture after work, and then my favorite yoga class a little while after that. I've recommitted to a booze-free lifestyle (for the time being), and am letting myself say no to things that seem more draining than restorative.

And now, back to work while my head is still clear. My to-do list is a bit daunting at the moment...

Yoga. Finally.

Yoga has been on my list of my three health things for over a month now. Tonight, I finally went. I had decided yesterday that tonight would be my night off. I would decline all invitations that came my way -- even if, gasp! they were work related -- treat myself to yoga class, and have a quiet evening in to do as I wish. No networking, no catching up on to-do lists, no doing things I should do. Just enjoy an evening nourishing myself.

All afternoon I looked forward to this. Then, at ten of five, I got hit with a whopper at work. Being me, I started spinning and planning and panicking, all in the name of solving it and making it perfect right now. Guess how effective that was. I came home, opened a (gluten free) beer, and called my wise mama for some insight/comfort. I know, I know. With all my liver chi stagnation, a beer was probably the last thing I needed. But sometimes, you just say forget it. Beer or no beer, though I was going to go splurge on a yoga class.

I bought an unlimited month. Not the best move for my credit card (it seems I can't quite focus on all three of my health things at the same time, can I), but a great move for my body and heart. It was a 101 class, back to basics, especially as I hadn't gone since May. Some poses felt so wonderful and familiar, some poses left me surprised that I could do them, and others left me able only to focus on the burning in my muscles. All of it left me feeling more peaceful and in tune with my body than I have been in a long, long time. Going to the gym in the morning is great, and I feel satisfied when I crank out time on the erg or lift weights, but it just doesn't compare to my yoga high.

My back and shoulders are already sore, but my posture is also naturally better than it was just this afternoon. I'm breathing easier. Much (not all) of my tension and panic from 5pm has dissipated. I don't know how the situation is going to be resolved, but I know I'll make something work, and I know I have family and friends around to support me along the way.

The added bonus to a yoga practice is that it makes it really easy for me to honor my body's wants and needs. Comfort food becomes something that nourishes me rather than some processed fatty, salty food. Tonight I had half of a perfectly ripe avocado, a serving of delicious quinoa pasta with organic sauce from Trader Joe's, and two tablespoons of flax seeds sprinkled on top. A far cry from the M&Ms and Tostitos I wanted to pick up on my way home from work.

(The opening photo, of Eagle Pose, was taken from here, and was my favorite pose of the night.)

Celiac Disease and Enzyme Deficiencies

One of my favorite people in the entire world, my friend Mo, is in med school right now. I would say she's pretty old school Western medicine, but she always listens with an open mind when I talk about my latest health and medical findings, regardless of whether it's from an Eastern or Western background; so long as the science is there, she's all for it. She's infinitely better at science than I am (I think I scraped out a B- in 9th grade bio; she's, um, in med school), and sometimes my attempt at scientific explanations fall a little (or a lot) short, which leaves me frustrated. Every once in a while, though, something I've read or experienced will come up a few days later in one of her classes, which causes us both to geek out a little bit. I'm also happy to report that Celiac Disease gets a semi-regular mention, so with any luck, future doctors will be even better equipped to help patients navigate that lifestyle.

Mo and I grabbed dinner towards the end of my elimination diet, and we talked a bit about what I'd uncovered about how my body processes food. Yesterday, I got a pretty awesome e-mail from her. Here's an excerpt:

As for the celiac tidbit, I learned that the disease affects primarily Caucasians, esp. Celtics and Swedes! So yeah, you know... you! AND that virtually all Celiac patients have a disaccharide deficiency, which is an enzyme that breaks down disaccharides into monosaccharides, and therefore often have an intolerance to lactose and sucrose. Which makes your elimination diet results you were telling me make TOTAL sense! It was sugar and milk right?? (I don't think I made that up... haha)

So there you go -- it turns out I might not be quite the medical mystery I thought I was. Man do I love when all the little pieces start to fit together.